Thursday, March 21, 2013

Nightmares

Sometimes I have nightmares.

I didn't used too...as a kid I don't remember ever even having bad dreams. The closest "bad dreams" I ever had were sometimes dreams about being chased and I couldn't run away. That was the only "bad" theme. Not being able to run. Not being able to fight back. Not being big enough, or strong enough. The farthest back I remember those would be in middle school.

Those dreams were bad, and sometimes I still have them, but now I also truly have nightmares.

I don't know when they started exactly. Last year? Before? ...??? I don't know.
Now I have dreams where people I love are dying. Or that they've already died in some sort of horrible accident. And I have car accident dreams. Those are probably the most common. Apparently I have a deep rooted fear of dying in a car accident, because I frequently have dreams where I'm driving off a bridge or rolling my vehicle.
I often wake up screaming, crying or sweating in fear.

Today my nightmares took a whole different turn.
I dreamed that I was trapped in a huge house. There seemed to be an endless number of rooms, but none of the doors were an exit. At first I was alone, and the loneliness itself was frightening enough, but then I wasn't alone. And it was worse. Suddenly a creepy little girl kept appearing everywhere. Standing in the doorways, and then just behind me. Just standing there staring at me.

Kinda like this:
This, except even younger and even creepier...if that's possible. 
So I would try to run away, but she kept finding me. 

And you know when you have those "Inception" style-like dreams where in the dream you wake up? And you could swear you are really awake? So yeah...that happened. I woke up in the dream, and I was at home, in my bed. Only then I rolled over to go back to sleep, and in bed next to me was a creepy old lady, just lying there staring. Talk about freaking creepy!!! So I was obviously still asleep.

Usually when I have nightmares I will try to wake myself up by screaming for help. And inevitably it becomes like my running dreams, where no matter how hard I try I can't do anything. I try and try to scream and yell but I can't make the sounds. It's like sleep suffocation. It's terrible. 

So at this point in the dream is when I began to start trying to scream. I knew if I could just yell I would wake myself up. So now I was back in the dream, trapped in this mansion with not one, but two creepy dead people. 

And then it got worse. 

Then there were more of them. 

And they didn't have eyes anymore. 

***I do realize we will probably not be friends once you've read this, because you will be so creeped out by my subconscious.***

They didn't have eyes, just gaping eye sockets. And they were all staring at me. Staring with their gaping eye sockets. Lots of them. Lots of creepy little children and one old lady. 

It. was. terrifying. 

So now I was really trying to scream-wake. I knew it was a dream, and I knew if I screamed loud enough I would wake myself up. But it seemed that the harder I tried the harder it was! A few times I would almost wake up, and then the creepy dead children would suck me back into the dream. 

When Steven is in bed with me, I can usually stop the nightmare by reaching out and feeling him there beside me. Other times he will hear me making noises or feel me thrashing and reach out and wake me. 
Unfortunately, today I was sleeping during the day and Steven wasn't beside me. 

What I didn't know is that he was actually home and in the other room doing homework. He told me after I'd woken up that he'd heard me moaning and sleep talking several times, but then it would stop so he figured he wouldn't disturb me; that I must have gone back to sleep.

That was when they were pulling me in!!! 

So anyway, this is an anti-climactic story because eventually I did just wake myself up somehow. 
But there you have it. I have nightmares. I have creepy weird nightmares about people with no eyes.

I don't know why I felt compelled to share this other than to hopefully gain some sympathy and maybe make you feel less guilty about your weird dreams. haha.

Anyone else have nightmares? DO share! 

7 comments:

  1. You could turn this into a movie about a girl who moves into a new house and starts having these weird nightmares, and then one day they become real and she can figure out what's reality and what's her dream and she ends up killing someone she loves and it turns out the house had a history of murder and those were the souls haunting you, etc. etc. It would be a crazy good movie!

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    1. Candice, that is the best idea ever. I am now going to be rich. Also, can I cast you as the girl? Then we can both be billionaires of the movie industry!! Yes!!! Turning my creepy dreams into mon-ehh! (<To be said like Honey Boo-boo)

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  2. Yay, I'm so glad you updated your blog! I look at it all the time in the middle of the night, and I could only reread the amda post so many times. I don't have very crazy nightmares, but I do wake up every night holding one side of my chest and thinking that I've fallen asleep feeding Colban and he is under the covers being smothered. So I have a secret fear of covers?

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    1. I did that when Missy used to sleep under the covers with us. Especially when she was a kitten. I was so worried I'd roll over and flatten her!

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  3. Ps your nightmares are crazy freaky! How do you go to sleep at night!? More importantly, how do you ever get up the courage to go to the bathroom by yourself?

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    1. I don't. I just pee in the bed. I've never told anyone this before, but I actually wear a catheter all the time. ;)

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