Friday, February 8, 2013

Gossip.

Hi friends. Thanks for the positive response to my prior post. I have discovered that honesty really is the best policy, even when it's scary or makes you look like a meanie poo poo head. ;)

So if you were a reader of the previous post you'll remember that I came clean on my 2013 resolutions, one of which was to be "less judgey" of people.

Ok guys, let's be real. This has been the hardest goal of all time. It is insane.

I really didn't realize how much this was part of my life until I voiced that blog post and sent it out into the world. Because I'd declared it publicly it was on my mind as I went through the next couple days and I noticed right away how much gossip exists in my daily life.
At work my coworkers all want to talk about each other. I've worked there longer than anyone else, so even my boss will come to me to vent. My front desk manager has become one of my very best friends, and as such we have a hard time not comparing notes on every single person in our lives-husbands included. (Sorry hubey!)

At school I get super judgey in choir, because you know, choir's ma thang, and I get all twitchy about when it's not being done right. haha. I'm even judgey of my choir director. (WHO AM I?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??!?) Boom. There. It's out. I am a judgey Mcjudgeface.

And don't even get me started on Fast and Testimony meetings. Let's not even go there.

***Can seriously NO ONE in Provo understand what a testimony is???!???***

Ok...so...Just wanted to pop in and say, "Heeeyyy...I've got a serious gossip problem."

In Junior High me and Xan (I think it was Xan?? Correct me if I'm wrong) would say,

"The first step to recovery is addmitting you have a problem!" And then we'd wave our hands in the air and shout,

"I HAVE A PROBLEM!"

This is what I'm doing right now. Loud and proud.

I was going to put a picture of someone raising their hand,
but this one was funnier. 
So there's the first step I guess. And the second step is to change your habits. The hardest part about this, I've found in the last week or so, is not being able to control other people wanting to tell you things. 
I am a good listener. 

...That's not a valid excuse, but I am. So...That's that. 

I'm still not sure how to successfully veer a gossip-y conversation into a non-gossipy one. At least now I can tell the difference. 

Anyways, that's the update. I'm trying to think nicer thoughts and say nicer things, but I guess it really comes down to just being less fascinated with everyone else's lives. haha.  I need a hobby. 

So there you have it! Update on resolutions part 1! 

In regards to other resolutions, I have been baking more and I did do a workout last week which was KILLER! 
Note: Don't stop working out for two months and then expect to just pick it right up again. Your muscles are going to HURT! 

Maybe I'll write another post about spiritual updates. ...Maybe. ;) Stay tuned.

5 comments:

  1. Hahaha, yes. This is so good. And uplifting. And yes I remember that too.

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  2. Oh man. I wrote a whole giant comment and it got erased somehow. You may think this will get you out of reading my novella of "insight," but oh, how you'd be wrong. Bwahaha.

    What I was going to say is: Why don't we ever hang out!? Every time I read your posts I swear you're writing about my life. I have this exact problem with being a judgey mcjudgerson, (AND I have pretty much the same goals...no, EXACTLY the same goals, as your last post described). Anyway, the gossip thing. It's especially bad when I'm around my coworkers. I solved this problem by working from home ;) haha. Just kidding. Mostly. I know what you mean about not being able to control what people tell you though. Sometimes in an attempt to redirect the conversation, I would throw in one of these bad boys: "Yeah, that (piece of gossip) might be validated....in other news, she has a great sense of style, right? Right?" And almost always the person would mumble a halfhearted "Yeah, I guess" while simultaneously 1.giving me a look that said 'who are you and what did you do with my fun judgey friend? and 2.slowly turning away in search of someone else who would not judge them for judging. haha. So what I'm saying with all of this blabbing is: if you find a way to smoothly exit that situation, do let me know.
    Ok, then end.
    No, wait. Also, you are awesome, uplifting, and inspirational.
    And I'm sorry if my first attempted comment also somehow shows up, and you see how unoriginal I am with repeating my own hilariousness.
    Ok, the end. For real.

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    Replies
    1. Ah ha ha! Taraya!! YES! I heart you a lot. Let's hang out. I like your tip on changing the conversation. I try to do the same thing if the gossip is ever really mean, you know? But the harder thing is when you just genuinely babble about what is up with someone else's life. haha. Also I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on how people react to you changing the subject, "Who are you and what did you do with my fun judgey friend?" haha. This is me. I feel like I'm letting them down. LoL! This is bad.
      Also, no second comment so far, so looks like only one posted.

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  3. Great post Rebekah, and I LOVED all your new year's resolutions. I think many of us would be surprised at how gossipy we actually are, when we start to look at it. I definitely want to know if you come up with any great way of redirecting those conversations where people just criticize each other. There must be a way to vent without getting nasty, or a way to tactfully change the topic without people feeling like their feelings are rejected. (Or if there's not, there SHOULD be. Come on people, we can put a man on the moon, surely we can do this!)Keep up the good work. Love you! :)

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    Replies
    1. Agreed! I truly believe that sometimes a good vent/rant can be justified, so it's more the petty everyday gossip that I want to try and eliminate. So far no brilliant insights, but I'll keep you all posted. ;) haha. Love you!

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