Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Resolution.

Trying to figure out how to begin this post and I could't decide on the appropriate introduction. You know I'm about to list my new years resolutions, I kind of gave that away in the title.

I think I'll go full-on Sacrament meeting and begin with a dictionary description.

*Ahem*

res·o·lu·tion

  [rez-uh-loo-shuh n]  Show IPA
noun
1.
a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organizationalegislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolutionjoint resolution.
2.
a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
3.
the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
4.
the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
5.
the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.

In the context of this post I think I will refer most to definitions 2-4. 

As January rolled in the new year I began to think of what I could resolve to do this year that would be better than that last. 

Here is what came to mind. 

Fitness
Health
Spirituality
Personality

Pretty much everyone's basic resolution list. 

Here is how I decided I would go about improving myself in these areas. 

1. Fitness: My goal for this year is to work out at least once each week using Jillian Michael's as my personal trainer via DVD. If I miss a week I am determined to not let it affect my attitude nor motivation. I will resolve to do better the next week so that I am doing at least one vigorous work out each week. 
~This may seem like a measly goal to some, but for me once a week would be an improvement to my current lifestyle. The wording "At least" once a week gives me the flexibility to improve until I am back to my post-Provo habit of a 5-day-a-week workouts. Because of my school/work/sleep schedule, once a week makes this goal both manageable and possible. 


2. Health
Health and fitness go hand in hand. Part of being healthy is doing my weekly work-outs, but the other half of the picture is healthy eating. I am a huge fan of The Biggest Loser. I'm actually watching it on another open tab right now and listening to Jillian Michael's motivate people. I love this show. It has truly inspired me to want to live healthier. For the most part, Steven and I have good food habits. We have a steady schedule of grocery shopping every other weekend and we cook (or put together) all of our own food. I try not to buy too many unhealthy things when we shop, and opt for the low-fat or fat-free versions of anything available. The truth is, you'll eat what you have, so if you buy bad things you'll eat bad things. Eating out is a luxury reserved for fun date nights no more than once a week-if that. We when do indulge in a night out we try to go for places that make things fresh. No "fast food" for us! 
*Confession: We do love pizza though, so that happens.
Anyway, putting away my soap-box...I decided that one fun way I could encourage myself to eat more healthy is to make every recipe on my Pinterest recipe board this year. So that's my goal! I have a LOT of pins and am always pinning more. Yeah, if you check it out you'll see I've also pinned a LOT of dessert recipes, but I'm working on that. I'm trying to pin more healthy things too. But I also figure that making my own desserts from scratch is a lot healthier than buying things from a store! No hidden ingredients in my kitchen! I'm going to become a regular chef!
"Yeah Rebekah! You rock! Cook those things! Tone those muscles!!"
3. Spirituality.
Ok, so in previous posts I've somewhat opened up about some of the things I've struggled with religiously. But the whole truth is that I haven't been active at church for ....umm....well long over a year. Whee! Blog confessions! Steven has been a great supporter of me during all of my struggles. He has continued to set the good example by attending church even when I don't and being a listening ear when I've been ready to talk through things. There are still things that I have a hard time with, but as the new year approached I just felt like this was going to be the year that everything fell back into place with me and the church. My resolution is pretty simple, just do better. Pray more, read the scriptures more, attend church more often. So far so good! It seems sort of dumb to say that the timing was just wrong last year, but that's the only way I can explain how I was feeling. I just wasn't interested. Now I am. Things are going well. *Crosses fingers*
Sometimes I'm glad that this is part of my life. Sometimes I am very glad. :) 
4. Personality. 
I know, I know. I have an awesome personality. What could I possibly have to improve on? haha. 
So..............................As stated above, I spent a lot of 2012 re-evaluating my life. As 2013 approached I came to the realization that I wasn't as happy as I could be. Granted, 2012 was a LOT happier than 2011. My marriage was certainly loads better! Yay us! I just had this nagging that I was missing out on some happiness somewhere and HOW COULD I GET IT? "Give it to me! Give it to me!!" 
My life really was going great. Nothing externally was affecting my happiness, it was all internal. I had to face the fact that I needed some personal improvement. So, I spent 12 hours sitting on a mountaintop soul searching and discovered that...No, jk. It wasn't that hard. 

I'm too judgey. 

I judge people. 

*Raises hand in admittance of a problem* 

And after I judge them I gossip about them. I am a gossiper. 


Now in a tiny bit of defense that I really shouldn't try to use but will, I don't think I'm out of control on this. I only gossip with like...3 people tops. Steven, who is a closed lid-he won't repeat what I say to anyone so there is that sort of safety net-, and a couple of my closest friends who are sort of my lady vent buddies. 
I feel like everyone does this-it's sort of human nature. And sometimes you really do NEED to talk it out with someone when you've got a problem. I also don't think I'm super mean or anything, but ...I realized that I needed to tone it down a bit. 
This is women. 
A couple summers ago a girl said some really mean things to me and then about me. She didn't know me, and I didn't know her. We were strangers with a mutual friend. The things she said to me were horrendously offensive. The things she said about me were not true. It really hurt my feelings. It made me angry. It made me say mean things about her to my friends. I got a little obsessed with criticizing her life. It made me feel better to think that I was "better than her".

That's really the most drastic example that I have. I don't go around talking badly about all of my friends or anything. I just realized that I am quick to pass judgement on people sometimes.  And I have a bad habit of comparing myself to everyone around me and then covering any jealousy with being snarky.
I also realized that doing so just made me feel gross inside. Maybe I'd have a moment of smug satisfaction like, "Go me, I'm awesome." But in reality it just made me a meanie poo poo. 

So. I resolve. I resolve to be nice. I resolve to not talk gossip on people. I resolve to think nice thoughts even about people who I don't particularly like. I resolve that meanness will stop with me. That I will fill my mouth with nice things to say. 

I'm pretty sure that of all my resolutions this will be the hardest. It's a hard habit to break. It's hard not to gossip. It's hard to be kind to mean people. But I will try. 


So there you have it. My new years resolutions. I resolve to be healthy and fit! I resolve to build a better relationship with my Heavenly Father and be a better example to my husband where church is involved. I resolve to be kind to others in thought and in deed. 
While out shopping today I came across this quote, "Everyday is an chance to change". It helps me remember that change isn't hard if we let ourselves do it. I resolve to be better and kinder this year. I resolve to be a better me. :) 

3 comments:

  1. Well, I'm inspired. I loved reading this! I think I'm going to do some mountain-top soul searching myself, and get some decent resolutions going in all of these same areas. Tis needed. Thanks for 1.being hilarious and 2.writing a post like this. I give it 4 stars. (out of 4...that's completely arbitrary, I realize, but let's go with it.)

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    1. Yes! Four stars! Rank of champions! haha. I love you. :D

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  2. I like this a whole lot! And that last one is my February resolution! January was "stop procrastinating...now!" I always get way too excited to make goals and then bomb out after a week of excitement, so I decided this year to set a different focus each month. But I totally know what you're talking about on the judgment thing!!! You'll have to share your mad success-in-loving-thoughts secrets with me, ok? p.s. you are such a good writer! If you were here I would give you a sticker.

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